Tag (2018)

In Theaters Now
Directed by: Jeff Tomsic
Starring: Ed Helms, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Isla Fischer, Jake Johnson, Hannibal Burress, Leslie Bibb, Rashida Jones, Annabelle Wallis

Man, directorial debuts have made their way into tMbU over the past few weeks. Jeff Tomsic is the latest rookie to have a film make its way into my eyeballs. This one is supposed to make you laugh. That really is it’s only job. If you go into a movie like this and are waiting for substance (the movie tries, and fails) or romance (tries again, fails again) that’s on you. If you go in ready to laugh at the absurdity of a 30-year game of tag, well done. You have allowed yourself to have a good time.

Hoagie (Helms), Jerry (Renner), Bob (Hamm), Chilli (Johnson), and Sable (Burress) have been playing the same game of tag since they were kids. The entire thing is done in an effort to keep from going up. But that didn’t stop these kids from becoming ridiculously sucessful (except for Chilli, I mean, his name is Chili, looking at the cast list kind of spoils this character for you). Jerry is like the Lebron James of tag. I mean it’s amazing. He is so good at not being touched you wonder why he doesn’t give up his life as a gym owner (I can only assume crossfit) to play professional football. I mean, he has a 30 year “untouched” streak in a game of tag for Christ’s sake. But you don’t care about that. Jeremy Renner is an absolute delight in the role of a villain (if this movie even has one, I would argue it does not). His charisma is allowed to shine and also not really forced to share screen time. When it’s Renner, it’s only Renner and that’s probably  the way it should be.

Jeremy Renner finding his inner parkour super star in Tag (credit: imdb)

Ed Helms plays the straight but not too straight guy well, although he is constantly outperformed by the aforementioned Renner and Isla Fischer, who plays his wife Anna. The deadpan style of Hannibal Burress fits in well with this group, and Jon Hamm is, well, Jon Hamm. 2nd place in this movie, behind Renner, goes to Jake Johnson. Playing the stoner of the group like a pro, this guy provides pretty consistent laughter whenever on screen, and it just doesn’t get old.

The only problem with Tag is that you now know pretty much everything about the movie (besides the poor effort of a twist at the end). But you know what? That’s okay. It’s actually kind of refreshing. Is this movie Shaun of the Dead, Dr. Strangelove, or Groundhog Day? Of course not, but not many movies are. Those are 5-Star films and instant classics. Does that mean Wedding Crashers or Mean Girls suck? Also, of course not, it just means you need to know what you are watching, and with a movie about 5 40-somethings playing tag, you should have known well before you walked into the theater.

Is it Watchlist-Worthy? If you like fun, then definitely add it to the list.

Tobey Maguire Versus Topher Grace

(images: lovethispic.com, divine.ca)

Some background: this comparison started mentally for me back in college, when my friend Pritesh asked if I wanted to see Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! playing on TV – he said it’s that movie with the Tobey Maguire lookalike. For those of you not acquainted with the quaint charm of WADWTH!, this romantic comedy stars Topher Grace as the Tobey Maguire lookalike. It made me wonder – was my friend comparing these two because they looked alike, or because their names looked alike? But more germane to this piece, who is just better?

There is no objective way to approach who is a better actor; so I thought, why not expand this subjectively to find out who is the better ultimate human being, utilizing arbitrary categories for comparison?

That’s right. It’s THE TOPH VS THE TOBE.

Physical Attributes

Topher Grace: white, skinny and a surprising 5’10¾” – a quick aside, the ultra specific 5’10¾” is the kind of height people who are actually 5’8” give. He’s a spry 38-year old and was born in NYC. East Coast.

Tobey Maguire: white, skinny and a just-about-right 5’8”. An elder 41-year old hailing from Santa Monica, California repping the West Coast.

Topher has the reach on Tobey, but this is for the best everything, not just the best in a fight. So we’ll call the first round of the East Coast / West Coast battle a draw.

(image: picture.gi.zimbo.com)

EDGE: Tie.

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